Bridesmaid Dresses: You CAN’T Wear It Again!

I finally got around to watching 27 Dresses. I loved that the movie made a running joke of the idea that you can actually wear your bridesmaid dress again. Regardless of what dress Katherine Heigl’s character, Jane, was forced to wear, from a collared purple thing to a sari to a goth getup complete with studded dog collar, each bride told her that she could just shorten it and wear it again. Who would wear these dresses again? And how do you shorten a sari anyway?

One of the biggest myths of weddings is that you, as the bride, can actually pick a bridesmaid dress that your ’maids will be able to wear again. You’ll have a hard enough time finding one style that will flatter all the women in your bridal party, let alone taking on the added challenge of finding one that they’ll be able to or even want to wear once your wedding is over.

I know because I tried. I really wanted to defy the odds and find the one dress to suit them all…the one dress they’d really and truly wear again. Along with being able to wear it again, I wanted to find something that wasn’t ridiculously expensive. If you’ve been through this, you’ll know I attempted the impossible. And if you haven’t been through it yet, you’ll see.

A dress that looked good on everyone, was inexpensive, yet didn’t look cheap, and can be worn again, where does one find this mythical dress? It would have to be New York City, right?

So, I gathered all my bridesmaids, or at least the 3 out of the 5 that were able to come to New York City for a weekend of bridesmaid dress shopping, and off we set on our quest. To simplify everything, I’d decided that my ’maids should all wear the same dress (even my sister, who was my maid of honor) and I’d let them pick the dress.

I sort of succeeded. We found an off-the-rack dress at Macy’s that everyone liked and you could wear it again. Unfortunately, the $400 price tag was a bit prohibitive for most of them—especially my cousin who was still in high school and my future sister-in-law who was out of work. They did love the dress, though. In fact, my cousin later wound up buying the dress when she found it on sale.

Left: This was the expensive off-the-rack BCBG Max Azria dress we all liked, only it was fuchsia, not black. Right: Here’s my cousin (in the back with two of my other cousins) wearing the dress to my brother’s wedding.

But, since it was too expensive, we had to find something else. After trying on tons of dresses, they finally agreed on a Jim Hjelm halter dress. Many emails went back and forth to choose the color…raspberry won. So, instead of the mythical dress they could wear again, they had a fairly inexpensive bridesmaid dress they all liked that they could wear once. Hey, at least I tried, right?

Although my bridesmaids couldn’t really wear their dresses again, Jim Hjlem is still selling them, so they’re still in style almost four years later. Doesn’t that count for something?

The problem with wearing a bridesmaid dress again is:
1. Most bridesmaids’ dresses look exactly like what they are…bridesmaid dresses. Even if it’s really cute and short, there’s something about the fabric and the cut that just screams bridesmaid dress.
2. The more bridesmaids you have, the more likely it is that someone will not like the color or style of the dress you’ve chosen.
3. Even if you let your girls pick from a separates collection where you’ve chosen a color and they pick a style that suits them best, they might not like the color or fabric you’ve chosen. Or, since there are only a limited number of styles, they might wind up settling on a style they aren’t really crazy about anyway.

Instead of striving to find a dress that can be worn again, try to find a dress that the women closest to you will love to wear once. The rest is just icing. And, if it helps, think about this when choosing the dress: If your bridesmaid gets married in a few years and you have to wear the dress she wore as a bridesmaid, would you be happy?

Happily Ever After,

{27 Dresses images courtesy of Fox 2000 Pictures}

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